Nobody expects a foreign visitor to know these, and getting one wrong will be forgiven instantly. But they are easy to learn and the reasoning is genuinely interesting.
The homophone taboos#
- A clock or watch. 送钟 (sòng zhōng), to give a clock, sounds exactly like 送终 (sòng zhōng), to attend someone's deathbed or see them to the grave. This is the strongest taboo on the list and the one most likely to be given innocently by a visitor. If a clock is genuinely the right gift, the recipient can hand over a token coin so that it counts as a purchase rather than a gift.
- Pears. 梨 (lí) sounds like 离 (lí), to part or separate. Avoid especially with couples — and note that sharing a pear by cutting it in half is avoided for the same reason.
- An umbrella. 伞 (sǎn) sounds like 散 (sàn), to scatter or break up.
- Shoes. 鞋 (xié) is a near-homophone of 邪 (xié), evil, and the phrase 穿小鞋 (chuān xiǎo xié) — "to wear tight shoes" — means to be quietly persecuted by someone.
- Anything in fours. 四 (sì) sounds like 死 (sǐ), death. Give six or eight of a thing, never four.
The non-pun ones#
- Knives, scissors and letter openers. Cutting implements suggest severing the relationship.
- A green hat. 戴绿帽子 (dài lǜ màozi) — "to wear a green hat" — means a man's wife is unfaithful. Nothing green for a man's head, ever.
- Chrysanthemums, and white or yellow flowers generally. These are funeral flowers.
- White or black wrapping paper. These are mourning colours. Red and gold are the celebratory ones.
What to give instead#
Something from where you come from is close to unbeatable, because the point is that it travelled. Local specialities, regional food or drink, well-made small objects, and anything with a story attached all work. Branded items are appreciated more openly than in many cultures.
Practicalities that matter more than the object:
- Offer and receive with both hands. This applies to gifts, business cards and payment alike.
- Expect a polite refusal, twice. Declining before accepting is courtesy, not rejection. Offer again.
- Do not expect it opened in front of you, and do not open one you are given unless invited to. Opening immediately can read as valuing the object over the gesture.
- Reciprocate at roughly the level you received. A wildly expensive gift creates an obligation rather than pleasure.
The one that catches business travellers#
Red envelopes (红包, hóngbāo) of cash are normal between family, at weddings, and at New Year, and are entirely ordinary in that setting. Cash from a foreign visitor to a business contact is a different thing altogether and should not be offered.
For the wider picture — face, dining, greetings and the taboos worth knowing — see the guide to Chinese etiquette; for buying the gift in the first place, the guide to shopping in China.